Great gift ideas for aging parents

Today I want to share a couple of terrific gift ideas for your aging parents.

First gift idea:
Thanks to my new friend, Amy Clark (http://momadvice.com/), I found a great website, http://www.etsy.com/.

It's the place to "buy and sell all things handmade". This site was launched in 2005 and is made up of 100,000 sellers. You can sell/buy handmade goods, supplies for crafts and vintage items. I went to this site for the first time last week to find a holiday wreath for my mother's apartment door (her door faces an interior corridor of her retirement community). I was delighted to find a lightweight, beautifully handmade wreath. The other neat part is the transaction itself was personal and very easy. I corresponded directly with the woman who made the wreath.
Her handmade items can be found at http://www.rhody.etsy.com (Rhody's Wreath and Crochet Shop).


So, if you're looking for a quality, handmade Christmas item for your aging parents, look here. The quality is excellent, prices good and my seller shipped the item directly to my mother.

Second gift idea:
I found another great site, http://www.photoshow.com/home/start

With this site, you upload your photos. The free software walks you through the entire process of creating a DVD. You select template, music and can also add titles, transition slides, speed of playback. You can include up to a maximum 150 pictures on each DVD.
I already received my first DVD. And, I am thrilled with the quality and speed of delivery. The packaging (DVD case) is also personalized and lends to the overall product quality.

I created a DVD to include photos of my grandson from birth to 2 years old. I'll be giving him, his parents and my elderly mother the DVD as a Christmas gift.

The nice part about this gift is that your aging parent can just pop this DVD in and enjoy a 10 minute show (all on their TV). My mother often has insomnia at night so I'm hoping she can perhaps use this in the middle of the night to give her pleasant memories and a way to get back to sleep.

For those of you reading this, if you have other gift ideas for aging parents, please comment.
Thank you. Dale...

Santa train video clip

Hello all,
This is a bit off topic. But, I decided to post an entry with a holiday theme.
I found a cute Santa video (animated) that is guaranteed to put a smile on your face.

It's 6 minutes long. Watch and enjoy. And, share with your family and friends.
http://www.metacafe.com/watch/55623/santa_taking_the_a_train/
Dale...

Virtually Aging in Place

I recall when my mother could no longer drive but needed to get to doctors, grocery store, pharmacy. She had only 2 friends who were willing and able to drive her. As I checked into resources to help her in the interim until she could get into her retirement community (in Maryland), I found the resources fragmented and all over the place. I had to seek them out and negotiate with and comply with the requirements of each resource. It was daunting.

So, when I read a blog about a new type of private non-profit organization in Andover Mass. I was delighted with the concept. It describes an innovative approach for aging-in-place called "retirement living without walls". A yearly membership fee allows access to services similar to those available to those living in retirement communities.

As the blog points out, there is strength in numbers! The non-profit organization has a central office and members receive transportation, attend YMCA classes, optionally obtain services such as home repair, pet services, etc. The cost is much less than that of a a retirement community but members gain the care and peace of mind they need and deserve, as they continue living in their homes.

Perhaps those reading this blog will approach their local Bureau/Council on Aging and seek their cooperation in exploring/implementing this concept. What a service it would be for seniors wishing to stay in their home!

Be sure to read the entire blog that describes this new concept,
http://www.plannedseniorhood.com/index.php/aip-virtually

Closet Organizing for Retirement Community residents

If you have moved your parent into a retirement community or are in the planning stages, you will want to read the article I've referenced below. Closet space is usually at a premium in retirement apartments. It will help your elderly parent so much if you will take some time to organize their closet. My mother has no interest in organizing but my sister-in-law has been doing it in small chunks. She'll find a complete outfit that my mother has forgotten all about. It's a simple thing such as this that delights my mother. I was so excited to find the following article that provides other good organizing tips.

So take a few moments to read the following article written by a closet designer. She breaks the process down into easy steps:

Step 1: Remove items that you no longer use

Step 2: Create groups for the items you have removed (the author provides some good leading questions to help decide what to do with the items)

Step 3: Organize your closet. A great tip I never thought about is to hang lightest to darkest. She also offers suggestions like using different colored hangers to differentiate navy blue from black.

This is a great article, worth a few minutes of your reading time.
http://www.organized-atlast.com/2008/11/04/closet-organizing-presentation-for-retirement-community/

Helping address loneliness in the elderly

Today's blog is based on an article I just read on the BBC (and was picked up by our AP).
It talks about the million people in the UK who are suffering with loneliness. A research study found that "half a million only leave their houses one a week, and a further 300,000 are entirely housebound." Of course, the tough economic times are only increasing their despair and loneliness.

The UK charity, Help the Aged, is launching a campaign to provide 25,000 people, with a Christmas dinner with friends.

As I finished reading the article, I realized there are likely many elderly in our local communities who find themselves in a similar state; people who can't afford or endure travel to their families or who are just isolated due to life situations.

So, I put out this challenge to each person reading this blog. Reach out to an elderly person in your church, neighborhood, or through your local Aging agency. (Note: to find your area's agency, enter your zip code at this link http://www.eldercare.gov/Eldercare/Public/Home.asp

Invite one or two such persons to your family Thanksgiving dinner. Yes, it will take a few calls and arranging, but think of what this will mean to someone who would otherwise sit alone at home at Thanksgiving. It will likely end up being one of your most special Thanksgivings.

Here is the BBC article: http://ukpress.google.com/article/ALeqM5gGJsVbVjA44ALUdw5LpNqAQ0nrrQ

Getting low cost prescription help for the elderly

We hear stories every day about the elderly having to choose between buying groceries and their prescriptions. But, there is help out there!

This morning the Today Show (NBC) had a great segment with tips for saving on prescriptions. Here are 4 key tips:

1. Shop around. One survey found a 300-400% difference in purchase price of a drug in a given area. Compare costs at all pharmacies in your area.
2. Shop on-line. In another survey, buying from an online pharmacy instead of the brick and mortar store yields a big cost savings. (i.e., walmart.com, cvs.com)
3. Consider alternative drug classes. Doctors sometimes prescribe the latest type of treatment (which often is the most expensive). Tell your doctor about your financial situation and ask your doctor to consider alternative classes of drugs
4. Contact an assistance program for a single point of assistance
1. Partnership for Assistance Program. https://www.pparx.org/Intro.php or call 1-888-477-2669. This program brings together pharmaceutical companies, doctors and patient advocacy groups to those who lack prescription coverage to get the medicines they need through public/private programs. This link explains how the program works, https://www.pparx.org/about.php
2. For those with the greatest need and least financial resources, contact Free Medicine Program. http://freemedicine.com/ or call 1-573-996-3333. This link explains how the program works, http://www.freemedicinefoundation.com/how_it_works.html

Sorting through a home of 30 years - what to keep, what to give away, what to trash

In today's entry, I'll share some of our strategies for sorting through Mom’s entire household. The How, What and Why of our decisions around all the “stuff”. As I said in previous entries, it is incredibly important to involve your parent in all these decisions.

1. Steps we followed:
a. We went to Kmart and bought big plastic tubs (with lids); about $4 each. These were essential for our sorting process

b. We categorized what we had to sort through by item and/or room:
i. Paperwork
ii. Kitchen stuff
iii. Clothing
iv. Furniture

c. Paperwork (mail, statements, bills, etc): This was stuffed in desks, dresser drawers, bags, etc. We set up a spot in the living room to stage all this stuff. My husband’s main job (during the last week before move out) was to go through all of it. He acted upon any bill that looked unpaid, trashed all the ads, etc. (SPECIAL NOTE: There was a huge amount of old paper with full credit card number and social security number on that. He put all this stuff in a huge bin; we brought it home and paid for it to be shredded.)

d. Kitchen stuff: There were many, many mis-matched sets of dishes and old cookware. Mom wanted to keep most of it. So, my husband set a table with 8 place settings of her favorite dishes and cookware for her new apartment kitchen. When she saw how this would meet her needs, she agreed and we gave the rest away.
e. Clothing: My mother had been a shopaholic. There was a lot still with tags on it that didn’t fit her. She agreed to give all that away to a Mission Store (this was important to her to know someone in need would be wearing her clothes). To her surprise, we found things like 40 black skirts in the same color, style and make. She usually would decide just to keep just a couple. (NOTE: this is a very emotionally draining process ...so do this in short time segments.)

f. Furniture: This took a lot of time. We ended color coding each item; green: for keep and move; red: for give-away; yellow: for trash. Our biggest challenge was finding a place that would come into the house and haul her furniture away for donation. I did not find this place until the day before moving. As with every other challenge…..you must keep pursuing a solution. Never give up!

g. What to buy new for her retirement apartment: Her living room couch and chair were soiled and also broken. Her mattress set was 30 years old. So, she agreed she wanted a new couch and lazy-boy chair. We found these pieces at her favorite department store on sale, plus they gave her one year interest-free to pay these off. We went to a mattress store, and found an excellent set (with a low box springs), and again got her one-year interest free. On of her favorite new purchases was a new comforter.

2. Lessons Learned:

a. Plan and think ahead. Given the timeframe for the move, map out the major steps you’ll need to accomplish. I listed all this in an Excel spreadsheet.

b. Track all the vendors, contacts and important names and numbers, and ‘next steps’. Again, I captured all this in an Excel spreadsheet and printed for my mother. When I had to return home, she kept the list on her frig, for easy reference.

c. Keep a pulse on how your parent is doing (physically and emotionally during all this). You may need to slow down but you can’t stop the process. You have to remind them why they are doing this and what it will mean to them in the end.

d. When your parent gets hung up looking through photos and memories, ensure them that you are saving all this. Again, we used a big bin to put all this in. Later, in the midst of winter, she could sort through these.

e. Consider things that are important to your parent. My mother wanted to take her piano with her. We made a place for it to fit in her apartment. Also, color (such as her new purple comforter) was important to her.

f. As early as possible, reserve the moving van company and other vendors (we used one just for senior moves and they book up fast).

g. Know that you will go through times where you are exhausted, dirty from cleaning, frustrated from delays, not finding resources when you need them. Often I would go outside late at night and just de-compress.

h. Always have a vision (and share it) for what your parent’s new life will be like.